Why I'm Not Here
Okay I just wanted to stop by and tell everyone why I haven't been here. I know some people have not been able to contact me through here so they have been leaving me emails telling me that I need to get on MSN and chat, or asking why I haven't been answering their notes/comments.
I'm sorry I'm not here much anymore. I have not been here in nearly two weeks, and I haven't been able to respond to many messages in the past month at least. I currently have more than 3,200 messages, about 10 of which are notes...and almost 500 of which are comments. 400 are new watches and favs, and I just can't respond to them right now. I'm sorry.
The only reason I'm typing this up right now is because I need to vent a little. I'm stressed more than I've ever been stressed. I am a full-time college student in the honors program, I need to keep a 3.5 GPA or higher in order to afford school, and I'm now employed at a local grocery store. I get up at 6 am, make the hour commute to MCC, take classes until noon, some days until one, and then I have to make the hour commute home to get to work at 2. Sometimes it's near impossible. I have to bring my work clothes with me and change in the bathroom so I can go directly to work. I don't always eat lunch, some days I don't eat lunch or dinner. I get home by 8 and shower and I have to get some sleep or I can't get out of the bed at 6 again the next day. I have, on average, 5 hours of homework a night. I'm lucky if I finish half of it.
I'm also in a problem with an eBay buyer, who purchased my Danny Phantom plush and claims it is "terrible junk" that took only "10 min" to make and looks like it was sewn by a "child". He's filed complaints with eBay and Paypal and now I have that to deal with. He's insulted me, because I believed I worked very hard on that plush, and I was very proud of it, and I did say it was handmade and not for little kids in the description, yet he bought it for his 5-year-old son's birthday, to go with his Blue's Clues stuff. I'm tired of his threats on negative feedback and pressing charges for copyright infringement. I want that to just be over.
So if you're wondering why I'm never on MSN, why I don't reply to any of your messages, why I don't comment on any of your art, why I don't even get to your emails (my Yahoo inbox has 293 UNREAD messages), why I don't update my site, or whatever, it's because I just can't. Plain and simple.
If you're wondering why I don't draw hardly anything anymore, it's because I'm busy working out math problems that I'll never use, or writing essays on song lyrics that mean nothing to me, cleaning the house, bagging somebody's groceries, retrieving carts in a parking lot, or cleaning up after somebody's mess in a bathroom or the floor.
It's funny how everybody seems to say you get more freedom as you get older, because from my experience, I'm losing more of it every day.
So there you have it. Art has taken a major backseat in my life, and socializing has as well. Instead, my first priority is to get through school, and my second one is to make enough money to pay for my gas to get there.
I have to postpone anything having to do with the contest until I get a chance to work with it. Right now I'm behind in school and I have to leave for work soon. Please don't take it personally if I haven't replied to you, because I haven't replied to anybody. Check my activity; there's proof.
I feel like everything I do lately does nothing to help me accomplish my dream. It all feels like a gigantic waste of my time, my energy, my money. I feel like there's no point to any of this.
I just keep hoping that I find a new job to replace this one soon so I don't have to be stuck in retail forever. It wastes precious time that I need to finish school and focus on art studies.
I don't know what else to say. I just want it all to go away and let me have some peace. Let me listen to music again, and let me release some of my artistic build-up.
I'm depressed. I haven't been that way for a while. Things were looking up and now it's all crashing down on me again.
I just want to live my life again.
I'm sorry I'm not here much anymore. I have not been here in nearly two weeks, and I haven't been able to respond to many messages in the past month at least. I currently have more than 3,200 messages, about 10 of which are notes...and almost 500 of which are comments. 400 are new watches and favs, and I just can't respond to them right now. I'm sorry.
The only reason I'm typing this up right now is because I need to vent a little. I'm stressed more than I've ever been stressed. I am a full-time college student in the honors program, I need to keep a 3.5 GPA or higher in order to afford school, and I'm now employed at a local grocery store. I get up at 6 am, make the hour commute to MCC, take classes until noon, some days until one, and then I have to make the hour commute home to get to work at 2. Sometimes it's near impossible. I have to bring my work clothes with me and change in the bathroom so I can go directly to work. I don't always eat lunch, some days I don't eat lunch or dinner. I get home by 8 and shower and I have to get some sleep or I can't get out of the bed at 6 again the next day. I have, on average, 5 hours of homework a night. I'm lucky if I finish half of it.
I'm also in a problem with an eBay buyer, who purchased my Danny Phantom plush and claims it is "terrible junk" that took only "10 min" to make and looks like it was sewn by a "child". He's filed complaints with eBay and Paypal and now I have that to deal with. He's insulted me, because I believed I worked very hard on that plush, and I was very proud of it, and I did say it was handmade and not for little kids in the description, yet he bought it for his 5-year-old son's birthday, to go with his Blue's Clues stuff. I'm tired of his threats on negative feedback and pressing charges for copyright infringement. I want that to just be over.
So if you're wondering why I'm never on MSN, why I don't reply to any of your messages, why I don't comment on any of your art, why I don't even get to your emails (my Yahoo inbox has 293 UNREAD messages), why I don't update my site, or whatever, it's because I just can't. Plain and simple.
If you're wondering why I don't draw hardly anything anymore, it's because I'm busy working out math problems that I'll never use, or writing essays on song lyrics that mean nothing to me, cleaning the house, bagging somebody's groceries, retrieving carts in a parking lot, or cleaning up after somebody's mess in a bathroom or the floor.
It's funny how everybody seems to say you get more freedom as you get older, because from my experience, I'm losing more of it every day.
So there you have it. Art has taken a major backseat in my life, and socializing has as well. Instead, my first priority is to get through school, and my second one is to make enough money to pay for my gas to get there.
I have to postpone anything having to do with the contest until I get a chance to work with it. Right now I'm behind in school and I have to leave for work soon. Please don't take it personally if I haven't replied to you, because I haven't replied to anybody. Check my activity; there's proof.
I feel like everything I do lately does nothing to help me accomplish my dream. It all feels like a gigantic waste of my time, my energy, my money. I feel like there's no point to any of this.
I just keep hoping that I find a new job to replace this one soon so I don't have to be stuck in retail forever. It wastes precious time that I need to finish school and focus on art studies.
I don't know what else to say. I just want it all to go away and let me have some peace. Let me listen to music again, and let me release some of my artistic build-up.
I'm depressed. I haven't been that way for a while. Things were looking up and now it's all crashing down on me again.
I just want to live my life again.
[Clubs]
Just shoot me.
Devious Comments
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Ideas are bulletproof. - V
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Class of 2006!
And sorry to hear you're having a hard time at the moment. Have a hug
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DEAD ACCOUNT DON'T WATCH
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Don't Forget to Look At My Scraps!
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(All art dedicated to Joshu unless otherwise noted.)
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
HUGS AGAIN.
(hugs)
I know its pretty lame, it's not like it's gonna take any of your stress away from you but heck I know how you're feeling. It sounds rough, and I wish you some peace real soon. But like Nny's Daughter said it'll get better as you go along. Maybe work yourself into a routine. Or at least until you're up to the financial target you aimed for. I found it a little hard to adapt to the first few months of uni/ and work (I'm in groceries as well and it's bloody crap and monotonous) but I've adjusted for now. I'm not sure what your current action plan might be depending on your financial situation, but if your work is that bad, then just find one more suitable to your current needs and then when you bag it, quit this one. Ok, easier said than done as sadly I find working in groceries pay more than any other average part time job. >< And like I said, everyone's financial situation is different.
As for this ebaying creep. Can you not report this to ebay about the harrasment? And show the description page of which you displayed the plushie (if the page still exists?)?
Man, ebay is evil. I'm sorry I'm totally useless in helping you on this. That guy is just not being fair.
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I'm Gwizdo in the deviantART Cartoon Obsessions Crew!
I know how you've been feeling, just a few minutes ago, my mom and I had to go get my brother cause the bus he took dropped him off on the wrong place. And on the way there, my mom took her anger out on me, and even said that she would sue the bus company for dropping my brother off at the wrong place. Many times. It seems like everyone thinks that they can yell at me just whenever they feel like it! Lately, my mom's been nagging me, having me run around the house, just about everyday I have to do something right after I get home from school. This weekend, I got a busy one doing a ton of homework. I know I don't have much to complain about, but running around, doing chores and homework, and barely getting time for myself just really gets on my nerves. Im so sorry to hear about the whole Ebay plushie thing, and about your job and schoolwork. I really wish there was something I could do. But all I can say is sorry...
Please try to hang on.
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I am a hopeless Pain/Panic fanatic!
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